The Need for Completeness

As someone who’s work often depends on emotion to drive expression, progress can be quite inconsistent. Sometimes you feel sad, or worse, nothing at all. But this brings me to an interesting realization: that I have fallen victim to the same automated mentality that most of us struggle with. We somehow tell ourselves that expression without intense positive emotion is without value. But truly, this is not the case.

To be able to express oneself at a time without feeling means you are blessed with some approximation of neutrality, or objectivity. You can see the world without the added colouring of emotion. And while this may be a little bland at times, it still serves a purpose. And of course the expressions of sadness can also be quite valuable. But we tend to forget this easily. So… it follows that one need not worry about what they are (or are not) feeling when it comes to creating. One might argue that the whole point of creativity is to honour the completeness of your being, every dimensions of life.

So. I cannot use this as an excuse anymore. I need to accept my feelings, no matter how uncomfortable, and express/create. And even if I am not feeling anything in specific, pushing myself to tell a story will usually evoke the associated emotions. This out of the way, it is clear that what really gets in the way is my own self-denying beliefs that my emotions are not important. Early-age programming is a terrible curse, but one I take responsibility in addressing.

So, then I must release all that I am feeling. Even now, I am rationalizing and analyzing myself from a cold objectivity. It’s time to let go and give into feeling. To be alive.